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My Big Fat Double Standard
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Written by Paul   
Thursday, 25 August 2011 02:04

There are a lot of double standards and unexamined prejudices one has to watch out for when one is writing porn, or at least, porn anyone intelligent will want to read.  That is, after all, part of the purpose of this site - to produce porn that is satisfying on a story and character level instead of just getting you in the pants.  Also, porn that is not saddled with all the tedious sexist bullshit that makes so much porn actively distasteful to watch or read.

Thus, we are dedicated here to being inclusive, and while there is a certain trendiness about that these days in certain circles, we do it for our own reasons and not any impulse to try and mainstream our work.  After all, if our work were mainstream we wouldn't be on this site, would we?  No, we want to be inclusive because we feel it is a kind of duty to show people who are not simply white/cisgendered/heteronormative having vanilla sex.  Body image is a very big part of this, as I certainly feel that many different kinds of bodies are beautiful, and the best way to spread that around is to share it and give people the courage to step outside the socially-accepted boundaries and say that yes, they find that sexy too.

So my question is: where is the love for fat guys?

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On Being "Broken."
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Written by Amanda Gannon   
Tuesday, 23 August 2011 01:15
One of the things I hear occasionally from people who aren't well-versed in BDSM subculture – or people who are just jerks – is that those of us who enjoy hurting people or being hurt, dominating people or being dominated, serving or being served, must have something "wrong" with us.  That we are "broken."

These people look for excuses.  They can't see any reason for a perv to be a perv besides "damaged goods."  This person was spanked as a child, that one's a rape survivor, that person over there had an overbearing mother, this one was bullied, one was raised a fundie, another was in an abusive relationship.  All of that shit will fuck you up, it's true.

I'm not sure if this is just because people want explanations for behavior that is foreign to them, or because they are seeking ways to dismiss behavior that they find appalling, or because they want to reassure themselves that "that could never be me."  Surely some of it is relatively innocent ignorance which, while often annoying, is not intended to be malicious.  This sort of ignorance can generally be remedied with a little patience and gentle education.

But a lot of it is used to dismiss and belittle, sometimes even within the kink scene itself.  Even a kinky person can look at someone who has a kink they consider out-of-bounds and say "It's because you were toilet-trained at gunpoint, isn't it?"  Sometimes they even judge someone with their same kink: "I like being beaten because it makes me feel strong and sure of myself.  That person likes being beaten because their last boyfriend was abusive, and they're just acting out what they know."

It's rude to reduce someone to a set of formative circumstances like this, but it's also human nature.  If we didn't like trying to understand how and why things work, we wouldn't have airplanes and antiviral drugs, refrigeration and roller coasters  The assumption that every kink can be explained away by some previous experience or circumstance is annoying, but using that explanation – even if it is true – to dismiss or judge someone is downright poisonous.

Here's the thing.  When it comes to what people think of us, it doesn't matter why we are the way we are.  .  .

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About the Size of It
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Written by Paul   
Wednesday, 17 August 2011 23:56

I want to talk here about penis size, and no, I'm not going to talk about the size of any actual penises, but rather about dealing with the topic in fiction.  Just as with anything else, the size of a character's dong is something you really only have to consider if you write porn, because if you are writing the usual 'go into heaving metaphor' mainstream sex, then it doesn't become a thing you have to really address.  In specifics.

But porn is different, and you will get the urge to somewhere say something like "He whipped out his nine-inch Viking War Spear and made with the pillaging".  I'm not saying you can't do things like that, I'm just saying you probably should not, and I'll tell you why. 

Perhaps nothing in sex is as fetishized as penis size, except maybe for boobs.  But still, when it gets down to the actual fucking, both men and women are focused on that dick and the exact dimensions thereof.  And then you, the author, are left with a choice - do you take part in the fetishizing of dicks, or do you not?

The main problem with getting on that train and coming out with hard dimensions is that inevitably, hypertrophy will set in.  After all, if the first dick that gets whipped out in the course of the story is supposed to be big, then you are stuck with the next one being even bigger.  You see where this is going?  Dongs are a part of the - pardon me for saying it - rising action in a narrative.

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